If anything was going to happen, I was going to have to step up to the plate, initiate, and define the relationship.
In short, I was going to have to be a man and lead.
It took a while, and she began to think I'd never do it.
But a month or so later, I managed to initiate a conversation at our annual fall beach retreat.
As with real life, you must do it quickly — and with a modicum of kindness, if possible.
In itself, this sounded to me like a gentle rejection, but she gave perfectly plausible excuses for why she couldn't plan ahead and said something positive-sounding about potential future beyond the lunch.
I went to the lunch and we both spoke to various people, but not to each other that much.
I told her how much I enjoyed our lunch, and that we should do it again. That cold, gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was in charge of small group Bible studies on campus and she was leading one. And once again, fear gripped me and I failed to act.
Unbeknownst to me, she had already confided in her friends that she liked me, but wasn't going to bail me out again.